Articles about Divorce

Whether You're a Primary Breadwinner or a Stay-at-home Spouse, Here's an Important Message from Your Divorce Lawyer
You have sole custody of your own personal integrity. It cannot be taken from you without your agreement and cooperation. That means you have to do what’s right even when your spouse doesn’t. When it comes to divorce, not only do two wrongs not make a right, two wrongs mean your kids have not one but two parents who are letting their own shortcomings and insecurities get the best of them.

The El Paso Test: The Secret to Choosing the Right Divorce Lawyer
So, in order to decide between a pool of otherwise qualified divorce lawyers, put them all through the El Paso test. Who would be the best fit for you when you're slogging through mile after tedious mile?

The Likability Factor: How Your Lawyer's Opinion of You (And Yours of Her) Can Affect Your Divorce
Some divorce lawyers might argue that whether they like a client isn't relevant. After all, liking a client doesn't affect the lawyer's skill set, and the skill set is what is needed to get the job done. I disagree. Family law cases are more personality-driven than any other area of law.

Want to Publicly Compliment your Significant Other? Don't [Af]F[leck] It Up!
In case you're not wired to pick up on subtleties, let me be perfectly clear: Never take the microphone and describe your marriage as being "work." I promise you, it won't go over well, no matter how earnest you look when you say it.

Signs Your Divorce Lawyer is Causing More Problems than He's Solving
Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what’s causing all the difficulties. Is your ex is being obstinate? Is his lawyer making things unnecessarily complicated? Are your own emotions subconsciously gumming up the process? Maybe. Or maybe not.

There’s one other possibility to consider: Maybe your own lawyer is the problem.

Three Gifts You Can (And Will) Discover From Divorce
Women who are reeling from a divorce are likely to be a combination of stunned, disoriented, forlorn, and terrified. Ordering them to “follow their passion” is like telling a woman who just miscarried to pick a baby name, decorate the nursery, and set up a college fund.

Working Mother Radio interview with Bettin Bush!  Click HERE for segment on Escaping the Divortex and click HERE for the segment on Breakup Survival Tips!

Throwing Caution to the Wind after Divorce Can be a Great Thing
It turns out it wasn't a level-headed decision at all. Rather, the decision was a result of a "major case of the f***-its" prompted by her divorce from her then-husband Will Arnett. At least that's how Amy herself describes it in her wicked-funny book Yes, Please.

Seven Things to Know About Divorcing During Your Senior Years
Pesoli agrees but adds that being amicable isn’t the same as being an open book. Sharing information such as future plans, favorite possessions or desired assets could give a spouse considerable negotiating power during divorce proceedings.

“Be polite, be civil, but keep it businesslike,” Pesoli advises.

Frenemies With Benefits:  Six Things That Are Great For You During Your Divorce...Until They're Not
Below is a list of the six most common divorce frenemies. These guys are tricky because in some contexts, they're your friends, but, in others...not so much. In order to avoid getting double crossed, it's critical for you to know where the lines are so you can stay on the right side of them.

Going Through a Divorce?  Here's Your FREE Divorce Advice Decoder!
When you're operating at a hundred percent, you can usually tell good advice from bad advice. But when you're going through a divorce, you're not your normal, level-headed self. That means there's a high risk that you could take garbage advice seriously -- or even worse, follow it.

The Lowdown on Breakups:  How to Spot a DUD
To understand a DUD breakup, you have to rewind the story of the person suffering from it -- because behind every person suffering from a DUD breakup, there's usually an earlier breakup that set the stage.

Hey, Divorce Lawyers:  You're About to Get Fired! 
This isn't just another divorce. This is her divorce. So if you can't be sympathetic and supportive while you charge her however many hundreds of dollars an hour to represent her, then it's time for you to find another job -- and preferably one that doesn't require you to be both a decent human being and a competent lawyer. I hear lobbying firms might be looking for your type.

Going Through a Divorce?  Here's a Thanksgiving Recipe for Success!
How well does divorce pair with Thanksgiving? About as well as car accidents pair with relaxation. In other words, not at all. Divorce is an ugly experience that throws your family into disarray. (Things get better, of course, but it takes time.)

Managing Your Reputation During Divorce
It’s important to have strategies in place to help you manage your reputation. Otherwise, you might create messes that damage your chances of getting what you want from the divorce. Following the guidelines in this article will help ensure your behavior is above reproach.

Thinking About Critizing Nick Cannon?  Here's Why You Should Hold Your Fire!
If you're like me, you haven't really been following the Mariah Carey-Nick Cannon split. And who can blame us? In the category of celebrity splits, "Nickiah" (or is it "Marick?") hardly registers on the give-a-care-o-meter. It's not nearly as compelling as TomKat's split -- or even Demi and Ashton's. Somehow, even Tori and Dean's breakup was more interesting -- and I'm not sure if that reflects more poorly on us or on them.

Your Ex's Divorce Spirit Name (What It Is and Why He Needs One)
What's a divorce spirit name? I'm glad you asked. A divorce spirit name is a nickname you give to your ex that takes the things about him that used to annoy you the most and turns them into a joke instead. Now, thanks to his divorce spirit name, you can laugh off Thumb Sucker's tendency to act like a baby rather than the grown man his birth certificate claims he is. And in doing so, you take away the power these annoyances had over you.

Austin Divorce Coach Empowers Women to Break Free From the Divortex
In her new book, released September 2, Pesoli (an Austin-based lawyer and divorce coach) guides women through the divorce process. The goal? To get through the divorce with sanity — and finances — intact. Pesoli, who has experienced divorced firsthand, hopes the book will help women avoid the pitfalls that she fell into.

Seal Press Author Shares Top Ten Tips for Powering Through Your Divorce
In her empowering new book, Break Free from the Divortex: Power Through Your Divorce and Launch Your New Life, she acts as therapist, lawyer, drill sergeant, and best friend to deliver the guidance women need to come out on top—with their finances and their sanity intact.

'Break Free From the Divortex' with This New Book by Christina Pesoli
When you walk down the aisle and say “I do” to the person you love more than anything in the world, the thought furthest from your mind is divorce, and yet it ends roughly half of all marriages in the United States. It happened to Christina Pesoli, a breakup coach and relationship expert. In her new book Break Free from the Divortex: Power Through Your Divorce and Launch Your New Life, she helps those going through the pain of a divorce find their way out of the spiraling hurt and confusion.

Ten Things Every Woman Should Know About Getting Divorced
It probably feels like the torment and fighting and crying will never end. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Christina Pesoli from Austin, TX, and author of the upcoming Emotional Hardbody says, “Getting through the first round of significant holidays, and the first summer when my children were gone for significant chunks of time, was really brutal. But after that things really do get easier.”

This Was "Way Better Than Therapy" After My Split
My ex never cared for Stephen Colbert, and that may have been the attraction for me at first. But whatever the allure, within a week or two of splitting up with my ex, Stephen and I fell into a routine where every Monday through Thursday night after my daughter went to sleep, I would welcome him into my bedroom where we would share thirty minutes of heaven. This was way better than therapy.

What Winston Churchill and Refrigerator Magnets Can Teach You About Getting Through Your Divorce.  
Often, when you are going through a divorce, the road is so terrible that you feel you don't have it in you to take another step. But you have to, because if you stop, you'll only extend the amount of time you have to spend on that really crappy road.  And sometimes when you are fighting for things that you know are really important to you and your kids, you get so worn out that you just want to give up. But you can't. Because giving up on your kids and yourself is simply not an option.

Conscious Comedy:  The Do's and Don't's of Mindfully Mocking Gwyneth Paltrow's Conscious Uncoupling
But while I won't mock their commitment to keep things positive, I'm not above rolling my eyes at the term they're using. On the crystalicious index, "conscious uncoupling" is up there with words like "journey," "path," "harmony" and "goddess." It's way too new-agey for my sensibilities.

Taking One For the Team:  Why My Valentine's Day is Going to Totally Suck (And Yet I'm Okay With That)
In short, Valentine's Day is at the tippy top of your list of least favorite holidays right now--and that's saying something, because this year that's one crowded list. To compound the problem, hating Valentine's Day makes you feel like a bad person.

Why You're Every Bit as Awesome as Chocolate Chip Cookies
When you walked down the aisle you had every intention of being married forever. It didn't turn out that way, and you ended up getting a divorce. And it is the fact that things didn't go according to plan that makes you think that you failed. But that's as crazy as thinking that chocolate chip cookies are a big fat mistake.

Three Good Things About Your Otherwise Terrible Divorce
It's probably off-putting to read a headline trumpeting anything good about an experience that blows as much as going through a divorce. But there are actually some good things that come along with this otherwise completely sucky process.

Your Ex Old Man Lends a Hand:  A Christmas Poem for Single Moms
My Christmas gift to single moms everywhere?  A Christmas poem to lift your spirits.  Merry Christmas--and you're welcome.

You Might Need a Breakup Coach If...   
Do these cases sound crazy? Good! Because in all seriousness, these aren't candidates for breakup coaches, these are candidates for institutionalization and/or incarceration. But now that I have your attention, we can talk about real indications you might need a breakup coach.

Divorce Role Models:  Celebrity Edition!  Why Katie Holmes Deserves to be your Leading Lady
TomKat's better half had no interest in going out on the prowl. She was singularly focused on getting her den in order, not chasing down new tail.

How to Keep Ghosts From Marriages Past from Haunting your House this Holiday Season
Something about the triple whammy of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas acts as a silver plated invitation to these old ghosts. Women who are not in relationships make easy prey.

Brutal Divorce Simulator Featuring Sandra Bullock Lets Those Lucky Enough Not to Have Experienced One Know How it Really Feels
By watching Bullock you'll finally get how isolating it feels to be alone, adrift, and abandoned while fighting for survival and trying to return to normal life.

Going Through a Divorce?  Here's your Halloween Costume Shopping Guide!
The name of the game is to avoid costumes that play into how society portrays divorcing women generally, or how your ex is trying to depict you specifically.

Time To Upset The Apple Cart? How To Tell If Your Marriage Is Bruised Or Rotten To The Core
My friend Felicity’s marriage was on the rocks. Over the years she and her husband had been to three separate marriage counselors, but their problems were only getting worse.

Pearls Of Wisdom: The Perfect “Annivorceary” Gift
...But since I'm celebrating the anniversary of my divorce -- my annivorceary, if you will -- I think a more appropriate theme for me is "would," as in what I wish I would have known back in 2007.

Remixing Your Personal Divorce Soundtrack
Divorce is a process that involves a lot of shedding -- and I'm not just talking about all those pounds that melt away thanks to the Divorce Diet.

Post-Divorce Personality Disorders: How To Avoid Becoming Someone You Don’t Like After Your Divorce
Divorce is the leading cause of temporary insanity. Trust me, I know. My work with divorcing women gives me a front row seat to the show.

Coping With Divorceaphobia: What To Do When People Turn On You During Your Divorce
Many years ago when my husband Tim and I were splitting up, I was in the process of moving back into the first house we had bought together.

Divorce Boot Camp Part One: These Boots Are Made For….
Going through a nasty divorce? My condolences. That really sucks. Divorce can be so consuming that you don’t even have a chance to enjoy the life-threatening amount of weight you’re sure to drop courtesy of the Divorce Diet.

Divorce Boot Camp Part Two: Managing Your Reputation
Divorce is not for weaklings. It's a grueling and stressful ordeal that can leave even the toughest contenders bruised and bloody.

Divorce Boot Camp Part Three: How To Lawyer Up Without Feeling The Burn
Going through a divorce is trying—even if you never go to trial. But decisions you make can and will influence whether your trip from unhappily ever after to suddenly single is as smooth as a German high speed rail or as hectic as a crazy train complete with Ozzy Osbourne as the engineer.

My Mad Crush On Anger: How Anger Helps You Bounce Back After A Break-up
Now that Valentine’s Day (and all the coverage of the related emotion of love) is behind us, I’d like to talk about break-ups (and the related emotion of anger) for a minute.

Intangible Assets: Who Gets Custody Of Your Friends After Your Divorce?
When it comes to divorce, it's not just the couple that goes in separate directions. Everything gets divided up.